Jealousy

In middle school, we had some half days. Our middle school was about a mile away from the downtown area. There was a group of guys in my middle school who were close with each other. I would sit with them at lunch and thought in my head I was part of their group. On the half days, everyone would would to the center of town. There wasn't even anything to do in the center of town. There was a CVS, two pizza parlors, a candlepin bowling alley. Most of my class would walk to the center of town on half days. I don't know why I went with them. I felt rejected and lonely each time. No one talked to me. I felt so left out. I'd feel so left out I wouldn't even know what to do with myself. Instead of talking about how I feel lonely and left out, I'm going to go the gym right now. Whenever I've felt left out, it's because I'm around people I don't fully care for. I have high expectations. I am furious when my expectations are not met. However, my world is perfect when my expectations are met. Last night, I talked to one of my musician friends about music and a bunch of stuff. Musicians are very different people. It must be the wiring of our brains or something. I don't really give people chances which is why I feel lonely. When making friends, I expect it to happen immediately when I meet the person.