Graduation

Graduation was today. I didn't want to walk because I was never really in school. The past months I've been at Britney's. The people I feel closest too are the people that I see at all the shows that I go to but don't actually know. It'd be nice to know all of them. For some reason today, I'm extremely anxious. I think I'm upset at how horribly everything went. Looking back on these four years, all I can think of was my depression and anxiety. However, I've had so much improvement. I've gotten smarter, skinnier, happier, and more aware of things, particularly the fact that I have Asperger's. All of my improvements would not be possible without skipping school.
I just wonder what people are going to think when they see I didn't walk. Some of them completely forgot about me and will think nothing of it. Some will probably think I didn't graduate. In my head, I graduated after my last AP exam. I want to go back to visit my study teacher so I play Bruce Springsteen for her on the piano, but I don't feel that I can do it.
I'm pretty anxious at the moment. This morning, I was extremely irritable. My family and I had lunch but I  got so depressed during it, I started crying. Now I'm anxious but not sure if I can take a Neurontin, now that I'm on Lyrica.